


On Yentes and Flirting

by ElentariR



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Darcy Lewis, F/M, First Kiss, First Meetings, Matchmaker Natasha Romanov, Steve is Awkward, Steve is not good with women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7178276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElentariR/pseuds/ElentariR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers had never been good with dames – women. He would rather lead a storm a heavily fortified HYDRA base with only his shield at his side than be forced to interact with a woman. He’d curled up and retreated from more women flirting with him than he had from men trying to kill him. Despite Natasha’s best efforts at match-making, Steve had sworn off flirting – and, well, women in general. So he had no idea how to talk to Miss. Darcy Lewis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve Rogers had never been good with dames – _women_. He would rather storm a heavily fortified HYDRA base with only his shield at his side than be forced to interact with a woman. They were complicated and intimidating creatures. He admired them greatly, sure, but he hadn’t the slightest idea of what to say to one. _Flirting_ with a woman was completely out of the question. Even when Peggy – unfathomably – took a shine to him, he could only stumble through half of their conversations and muck up the other half of their conversations. Well, he did have a few smooth moments, and boy did he feel like a king!

But Peggy was the only dame who had ever taken a shine to _him_. After Project Rebirth, most dames were more interested in his arms than his brain. He’d curled up and retreated from more women flirting with him than he had from men trying to kill him. Despite Natasha’s best efforts at match-making, Steve had sworn off flirting – and, well, women in general. Not that he had time for them anyway.

Watching Darcy Lewis from across the room challenged Steve’s promise. Natasha had dragged him to Tony’s party by his ear.Thor had just returned from Asgard, and Dr. Jane Foster joined him in Stark Tower earlier in the day. Steve wasn’t certain whether the party was to celebrate Thor, Dr. Foster, or both. Either way, Steve didn’t want to go. A nice, quiet evening in his suite catching up on 70 years worth of pop culture sounded infinitely more appealing that an evening of socializing. But he knew better than to deny Natasha.

As always, Steve had been flustered when Natasha introduced him to Dr. Foster’s former intern. Miss. Lewis, bedecked in a _very_ flattering navy blue cocktail dress and curls, had grinned and gave him a firm handshake. He could have sworn he had seen her rake her eyes over his body, which only made him more flustered. Miss. Lewis was a beautiful, intelligent, and confident young woman, and Steve had absolutely no idea how to talk to her.

So, Steve sat precariously on the bar stool nursing his drink, where he intended to spend the remainder of the evening until it was socially appropriate for him to duck out. “Not gonna socialize tonight, are you.” The question was delivered as a knowing statement. Steve took a long swig from his glass and paused before answering.

“Nope.”

“You know, you’ll make more friends if you get off that bar stool. You need more friends in your life.” Natasha pointed out, leaning her back up against the bar. Steve shrugged. “She’s pretty easy to talk to. Why don’t you go see for yourself?” Steve knew better than to look away from his glass or to acknowledge his understanding.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve muttered into the rim of his glass; he knew better than to look away from it. Natasha snorted.

“Don’t make me do it, Steve.” Natasha’s warning went unheeded. Steve resolutely looked away. Tony did have good taste in decorations, at least. They provided excellent distractions for Steve during conversations like this. Beside him, Natasha sighed. “Suit yourself,” she said as she pushed away from the bar. She glanced over her shoulder and shook her head.

Two minutes later, Steve felt another female presence sidle up to him. “Whew, I didn’t think I would ever get away from that conversation.” Steve felt his chest seize when he heard Darcy Lewis’ voice not three feet to his right. “Hey, do you mind if I crash here? Maybe if we look like we’re talking no one will bother us.”

Steve blinked and stared at her. “Yeah, uh...I mean, no.” Miss. Lewis frowned in confusion. He cleared his throat and flushed. “I mean… Yes, you are more than welcome to join me.” Darcy laughed quietly.

“You don’t get out much, do you?” Darcy asked with a shake of her head and a half smile.

“Well, I don’t know if I would say that.” Steve hesitated. “I get out plenty.” Although most of those outings involved hitting people.

Darcy raised her eyebrows. “Okay, dude. I am constantly surrounded by the smartest, nerdiest, most socially inept people that ever graced the planet. Trust me when I say that I know the signs of not getting out much.” Darcy said. She held up a hand before Steve could stammer a protest. “It’s okay! We all have our talents.” She gestured at him vaguely. “Yours lean more towards the muscley soldier stuff, not so much the talking to normal people about normal things. Me, I’m the people liaison/baby-sitter to the nerds. People are kind of my thing.” This caught Steven’s attention. He straightened.

“That’s not all I am. I like art. And...and music. And...things.” Steve protested. He felt quite hurt at the assumption, even as he reminded himself that he did his best to reinforce that stereotype on a near daily basis. There was twinkle in Darcy’s brown eyes – _God help me, they’re beautiful_ – that caused Steve to frown. “But you knew that. Didn’t you.” He’d played right into her hands. She _was_ good.

Darcy shrugged and sipped her wine. She adjusted her position on the stool, allowing Steve a better profile view that he took advantage of. Color flooded his cheeks when Darcy turned and caught him mid-perusal. He coughed and looked away in embarrassment. “Some things are just universal.” Steve heard Darcy mutter into her wine glass in amusement. He suspected that he wasn’t meant to hear it.

Comfortable silence descended for several minutes before Steve broke the silence. “So how did you know?”

Another noncommittal shrug. “Like I said – people liaison.”

“Natasha told you.”

Darcy sighed. She looked at him with an amused half-smile. “You really don’t like not knowing stuff, do you? It’s hilarious, really. Another night and I’d give you hell for it, but I’m afraid I’m not quite in the mood for that tonight.”

“So…?” Steve prompted. He didn’t notice himself leaning forward, pinning her with his eyes.

“You were doodling on the napkin earlier.” Darcy said, waving a finger at the white square on the bar. “Kinda a giveaway. Besides, everyone has a deeper side to them. Even super soldiers like you.” Steve cocked his head slightly as he observed her.

“You’re right, I don’t get out much.” Steve found himself admitting.

Darcy paused. She shrugged. “Black Widow lady means well, you know. She’s just lookin’ out for ‘ya.” Darcy grinned and leaned closer to Steve, who barely overcame the urge to stare down the front of her dress. “I think it gives her a sense of purpose.”

“A sense of purpose.” Steve echoed her knowing mock whisper. He supposed it made some sense. Natasha wasn’t attached to S.H.I.E.L.D. in the same type of way many of the agents were.

“Yep.” Darcy popped the ‘p’ and took a sip of her wine. “Although, it is awfully fun to watch you squirm, so that’s an added bonus for her playing Yente.”

“What’s a Yente?”

“Hm?” Darcy’s attention had been momentarily snagged by a dancing Tony. Too much Asgardian ale, Steve suspected. “Oh, a Yente – she’s the matchmaker in _Fiddler on the Roof_. It’s a musical – add it to your list.” The name sounded odd to Steve, but he took her suggestion.

“So Natasha _was_ playing matchmaker when she sent you over here.”

“You’d have to ask her. Probably. Scary master assassin minds aren’t really my area of expertise.”

“I see.” Steve mumbled and glanced away. Darcy leaned forward and sideways in an effort to catch his eye.

“Aren’t you going to ask _me_ why I came over here?” Darcy demanded sweetly as possible. “No reply? Alrighty then, well, I’m telling you anyway.” She turned so that she faced him entirely. “I came over here because I wanted to. I mean, yeah, Natasha wanted me to – big whoop. But she also wanted me to flirt shamelessly. And trust me – you would know if I was flirting with you. _I_ came over because _I_ wanted to. You looked sad. Plus, Rhodey wouldn’t shut up and it was annoying. So I suppose I should thank you for being my excuse to exit gracefully.”

“You sure do talk a lot.” The muttered statement lacked heat.

“Eh.”

Steve hesitated. Should he bring it up? Maybe. Well, it was worth a shot. “Thank you – for trying to talk to me.” Darcy shrugged, but smiled, clearly pleased.

“No problem, Captain Steve. Anytime you need a bailout, just send up an S.O.S., and I’ll be there.” Darcy promised, nudging his shoulder playfully. She winked. Steve blushed. “And in case you couldn’t tell, that was me flirting with you.”

That got Steve wide-eyed and flummoxed.

Darcy laughed. She stood and patted his shoulder with a wide grin. “Looks like I gotta go play interference for Jane and Thor. Tony’s had a bit too much to drink. But, hey,” she continued to talk as she walked backwards. “I’ll see you around.”

Steve smiled – a broad, toothy, genuine smile.

“I’m counting on it.”


	2. Chapter 2

The strangest things had been happening since that night at the party.

Darcy used to have to hunt down pretty much every single freakin’ Avenger to get them to put in their paperwork correctly – _seriously, how hard was it to do_ – but not anymore. Mysteriously, all paperwork began being submitted properly and on time – sometimes even in triplicate. That was four weeks ago, just after the party.

Her car had broken down three weeks ago. She’d dreaded making it known – Tony would want to ‘modify’ it – and she’d asked JARVIS to keep it quiet. She didn’t need her car spontaneously combusting because Tony tried to sup it up. She had returned that evening to find it running smoother than it ever had and with no visible Stark modifications.

Two weeks ago, she discovered that her favorite brand of coffee had been delivered to her apartment door just when she was about to run out. It also appeared in the break room nearest her office in Stark Tower.

This week, her favorite blueberry muffins from her favorite bakery were waiting for her in her office.

Darcy wasn’t sure if she should go to the police or not. JARVIS hadn’t responded when she asked him about it. The security vid files were conveniently restricted. Did she have a stalker? She always thought stalkers were more creepy than this. She remembered that episode of _Criminal Minds_ when the stalker mailed her pictures of various parts of his body. He’d sent letters and flowers, too. Then the unsub kidnapped her. Fun stuff. Then there was the episode where the hot blonde celebrity was being stalked – the unsub liked to kill people. More fun stuff.

Well, she hadn’t received pictures, or flowers, or notes. No one she knew had died – so, that was good, right? But Darcy was starting to get seriously freaked out. As nice as everything the guy had done was, it was growing personal. Really personal. And it was all anonymous. Thus all creepy and not cool. Not cool at all.

So Darcy made certain she always had her taser on her. She requested martial arts training like the cool SHIELD agents had. Tony had shrugged and signed her up on the company’s payroll. “You could double as my hot bodyguard.” Tony had winked at her after he said that, but Darcy knew he was still utterly faithful to Pepper. Honestly, that woman was a saint.

Nearly an entire month after that party, Natasha Romanov – a.k.a. The Black Widow, a.k.a. the most kick-ass woman alive – knocked on Darcy’s office door. She stepped inside before Darcy could say anything and closed – and locked – the door behind her.

“Should I be scared?” Darcy asked. She glanced around nervously. Natasha shook her head. She moved to stand in front of Darcy’s desk.

“Steve sucks at talking to women. He’s even worse at wooing them.” Natasha said without preamble.

Darcy blinked. “I’m sorry, come again?” Her mind raced to catch up. The Russian sighed.

“You’re not being stalked.” Natasha informed. “Well, not really. Not in the conventional sense.”

“Okay.” Darcy drew out the word. “And how do you know this?” Natasha ignored her question.

“It’s Steve.”

Darcy frowned. “Steve? Steve Rogers. Captain America. The Star-Spangled-Man-With-A-Plan.”

“Yes. That one.” Natasha confirmed with a nod. “Although his current plan is rubbish, if you ask me.”

“So...you’re telling me that Steve Rogers got everyone to do their paperwork. He fixed my car. The coffee and muffins. That was him? That was all him.”

Natasha merely smiled. She sashayed back towards the door. “Sounds like the two of you need to have a little chat.” And she was gone.

Darcy sat in stunned silence for a moment. “Oh, to Hell with it.” Darcy muttered. She shot out of her chair. “JARVIS, what is Steve Rogers’ location?”

“I believe you will find Captain Rogers in the gymnasium. He is currently the only occupant.”

“Thanks, man.”

Darcy sprinted down the hallway to the elevator. Her heart beat like a snare drum and she bounced on her feet in the elevator. She hadn’t the faintest idea what she’d say to Steve when she saw him. “Hey, man, thanks for everything – let’s make out!” No. She had standards for herself. “I would like to express my deepest appreciation for your acts of service by shoving my tongue into your mouth forthwith.” Hell no.

She’d have to make it up as she went along.

Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, Darcy marched into the gym. It was specially designed and constructed for the Avengers – some of them tended to break regular equipment – but mainly it gave them privacy. Normalcy. Darcy marched past the treadmills. She marched past the ellipticals. She stopped in front of the weights.

Steve put the _huge_ weights down when he saw Darcy approach. His cheeks tinged pink and Darcy could have sworn it wasn’t because of the exercise. He seemed to like it when she wore blue. He rubbed his towel across his forehead and smiled. “Hey, Darcy. What can I do for you?”

For a moment, Darcy stood there assessing him, her eyes slightly narrowed. Steve waited, wide-eyed with confusion. “Are you stalking me?” She blurted out finally.

“Come again?” Steve frowned.

“Are you stalking me?” She repeated herself more slowly. “The paperwork, my car, the coffee and muffins… Was that you?”

Steve definitely blushed that time. He stammered out a string of incomprehensible sounds before nodding. “Yeah.” He glanced away. “That was me.”

Darcy nodded, taking a few half seconds to process. “Was that you flirting with me?” She peered up at him through her glasses.

Steve nodded, looking distinctly chagrined. He hitched a shoulder in a way that was both awkward and adorable – and so Steve. “I’m not very good at it, I guess.”

“I seriously thought someone was stalking me. Man, dude, leave a note or _something_. You gotta identify yourself.” Darcy said. She smiled at him, though, which he seemed to take comfort from. His stance relaxed slightly. “It was all really sweet and really appreciated. Believe me. But the whole anonymous thing was creeptastic. And you could have just talked to me. Like a normal human being.”

Steve scratched the back of his neck and winced. “Nat mentioned that. I am sorry. I thought… Well, I hoped you might...guess.”

“Guess.” Darcy arched an eyebrow. She pushed her glasses higher on the bridge of her nose. “As much as I appreciate your faith in my deductive abilities, I am curious about your thought process on that one.”

The corner of Steve’s lips turned down slightly. “You had mentioned them all to me.”

Darcy blinked. _Oh._ She had, hadn’t she? Passing comments, each of them, in their brief encounters in Stark Tower. She always enjoyed seeing and talking to him, but they had never really _talked_. And she wasn’t used to being wooed.

“How badly did I muck it up?” Steve asked quietly. He stood with his shoulders haunched, hands nervously folded over each other, unable to meet her eyes.

A slow smile stretched across Darcy’s face. To Steve’s utter surprise, she stepped right up to me, her chest pressing against his, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He was slightly sweaty, but she didn’t much care in the moment. “Not too bad. Nothing a kiss from you couldn’t fix.”

Steve surprised her by putting his arms around her waist. He grinned. “Yeah?”

Darcy’s returning smile was nothing short of saucy.

“Yeah.”

There wasn’t much talking after that.


End file.
